9 worst things passengers do on a plane
It’s impressive how our species reached the top of evolution, creates poetry and monuments all over the world, but we suddenly become worse than animals once we get in a plane. What is it with people being in a transport with other humans and forgetting all of a sudden how to behave correctly?
Here is a list of things that people on an airplane do that is the pinnacle of pure barbary and annoys crew members the most.
Being rude to the crew or staff
People use to literally forget that the staff in uniform are not robots created to serve them, but are human being as well, with their own feelings, stories and life. So, saying hello to them appears to be an option, so is saying please, thank you, or looking at them when they serve them their white wine at 10am on a half day flight.
This is the “acceptable” part of the behavior. Some others like to yell at flight attendant, thinking that they’re alone on the flight and put pressure on them because you know, waiting 5 more minutes for your Fanta with ice when you’re already waiting and doing nothing sitting in a giant metal box at 10 000 meters of altitude is an unbearable condition.
Letting their children misbehave or disturb other passengers
Children are cute, funny little monsters and we’ve all been there, ready to play with anything, curious about the world around us. But not on a plane. On a plane, this little doll that is (that’s what the tired parents who seems to haven’t been able to sleep for a decade try to tell you) so calm on the ground literally transform into a murderous Chucky-like-psychopath on the plane. Scientists have been trying to discover how to keep them quiet during a night flight without success, so we advise any flight attendant who ever encounter one of these little Godzilla to just use whatever weapon is at hand reach. Or you can give the parents the article in which we elaborated technics on how to keep them quiet for as long as possible : https://www.flydirekt.com/blog/tipsandtricks/fly-with-a-baby/
There’s also the other kind of genitors, the ones that doesn’t understand / care why the passenger in the front seat is angry “just because” their adorable children have been kicking in his seat for the last 2 hours, or why they should try to stop him from screaming in the middle of the aisle. Can’t you understand? That’s his creativity speaking, you are a monster for depriving him of his liberty of speech.
Change their mind 5 times when ordering
“I’ll have a glass of red wine” (no please as he is also part of the first category)
You come back with it.
“I changed my mind it’s too early for alcohol, can I have a coke instead?”
You smile, come back with a coke.
“Lady I said a light one didn’t you hear me?”
You know he didn’t mentioned anything, but you smile again, go back to where you’re from and find a light coke for your favorite passenger.
“Finally, I think I’d prefer the red wine…” Do I need to say more? By the time you come back with his 1339th drink, all other passengers died of dehydration, but this guy is happy, so who cares? (Response: not him).
Talking loudly on a phone
As people are alone in a plane, that’s acceptable to spend a 20 minutes phone call every hour screaming out loud like they forgot that a phone allows you to speak to a person in a certain distance at a normal voice without having to let the guy in the plane next to us that they’ve had a filet mignon with potatoes that was kind of good but a little too burnt on the outside. They can speak normally.
They also forget these math classes in primary school in which you learnt that if a plane goes at a certain speed to this city it will arrive at this hour. You’ve already told whoever comes to pick you up that the plane arrives at 7pm, no need to tell them like 10 times during the flight, unless they have Alzheimer then you should choose someone else to pick you up.
Touching the flight attendant
A flight attendant is not a toy. It’s not a Muppet, it’s not even a pet (who would’ve thought?!). That means that you do not have to touch him / her. They are persons doing their job which is not to be touched on the elbow, waist or any other part of the body (maybe poke them in the eyes next time to get their attention…). A flight attendant is responsible for a whole plane, so do not worry, they’ll come check on you if you ask them, but a passenger should not touch a flight attendant.
Blocking the overhead bin
A recurrent thing with passengers is that there is a certain proportion that you can observe every time, there are 80% percent of people who got on the plane with their jacket and, why not, a little bag, who put that in the overhead bin, seat down, and do nothing for the entire flight. They are like extras on a movie, because you know that the real arch nemesis of this movie are these guys who managed to get on the plane with their bag, everything they bought on the ground and their entire house in the other hand. these guys are the worst. He tries to push things down his seat for 10 minutes, blocking the aisle, then plays Tetris with the overhead bin, crush everything that other passengers have put there, and obviously, he suddenly can’t manage to lift that bag full of different sized anvil he absolutely need for whatever reasons, and you know that he is going to ask you for help (without saying a little please, do I have to remind you this?). You have to turn into Dwayne Johnson to manage to lift that up, while other passengers are complaining that they have to go to the other side of the plane (apparently there are good vibes back there at this exact moment). Once you finally closed the bin, he remembers that he left his lucky charm / medication / book / whatever in his purse behind every other objects. You know it’s going to be a great flight when it starts off like this.
Bringing stinky food on the plane
Sometimes, people are hungry, they prepare their food, buy a little snack, some candy’s, and that’s perfectly normal. Then there is him. You know he is going to be public enemy number 1 in less time that it takes to say “Rotten reblochon” and you’ll just turn your head and pretend to see nothing if other passengers try to throw things at him. You will not recognize him at first, but you will recognize the smell. This person thinks its okay to mix tuna, dog food and old French cheese in a single Tupperware, and act like it’s normal. You’ll start seeing people next to him make faces of disgust, horrified, then reach for breathable oxygen, then it’ll hit you like thunder in the placid night. We recommend being extremely cautious around him, as it’s proven that he only does that for the sake of seeing other humans suffer.
Putting their bare feet on the tray
Did you mentioned to all passengers that the airplane they are currently flying in is their couch, inside their house, where they can do whatever they want? No? Then does anyone knows why they think it is? Imagine that. You had a long walk today, it’s hot outside, you sit down at a restaurant, proceed to slowly take off your shoes under the desperate look of the waiters and other people tranquilly enjoying their meals, and then put these little stinky body parts on the restaurant table like it’s a normal situation. WOULD ANYONE DO THAT? Then why is it ok in an airplane?
Strangely, it seems to be a girl-only behavior, as no one ever recorder a guy doing this ever. That is not ok, the passenger next to them doesn’t have to endure that, the entire aisle doesn’t have to smell their smelly feet, and even more, that’s a table, where people eat, read a book, enjoy life.
There should be more punishments from that, like stealing their shoes, or cutting their feet off.
Blocking the aisles during the flight
There we have the last kind of common behavior that you can encounter. Like in the example before, this passenger thinks he is at home, on his couch. You have a job, that you’re being paid for, and it often consist in a plane at walking up and down the aisle for all types of reasons. But you can’t, because mister “I-Don’t-Have-A-Gravity-Center” have half of his body fallen in the aisle, and this girl put her leg all the way in (what’s with girls and their legs, seriously?) or this guy decides to stretch his arms / trap you when you’re passing by with a beverage (ideally, a hot coffee that spills all over you).
People, the aisle is a passage for persons to walk, not a place for your body to express itself freely, you are grown up, you can maintain yourself in a decent position.
Sometimes, there is only one type of these horrible passengers in a flight, which is bearable with a little practice. Sometimes, there are some of them, or worse, all of them, which requests a lot of patience to not go crazy. And sometimes, one passenger is all of that, in the same time. If that happens, know that we liked you very well.
And if you want to remind yourself why you choose to work in a closed-up human safari, go check out the reasons why a plane is the best office: